Life is full of passion and pleasure and hope. Contained within the bounds our Lord has set. It's so easy to fall off course as a man, natural, carnal and instinctive, and pursue other paths, which trap and cheapen, hide and withhold, darken and chain down. Pornography, mental or visual is controlling and tears at the values our Lord has established. Passion, pleasure, love and touch are turned vile, without affection, selfish and hidden rather than shared. I've been there, trapped and pushing this sin away while keeping a chain clasped to my ankle, always there. At times I venture down clean, fresh paths, but who am I kidding, the chain remained. I would fight it... drag it... at times it weighed a gazillion pounds and I could not escape until I gave in and follow the chain to its source, gave in and then threw the ball as far away as possible, again, in disgusted and vowing to never return again. Links were not added, they were taken away, dragging me closer, deeper, closer to the source. This cannot be beat...on your own.
Presenting myself in all honesty before my bishop, stake president and Savior cut the links, however the chain remained. Through continuous efforts I pull further away from that which held me a prisoner. Now sparks follow me as I pull the chain. I've hurt so many especially my sweet wife. The sparks are her pains lighting up as I continue on and she is left to deal with such pains. But as I continue on, faithful, honest, clean and open, I lose links in the chain. Will I ever be free? I'm not certain, but I can be pure and escape, though I've left scratches in the road.
I am on the road pursuing the right direction. Will she ever be free of those sparks, dents and scratches I brought along? I pray yes... Oh- I pray yes!
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